Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – Between a Rock and a Hard Place (part 2)

Andrew and I sit on the couch. He flips through television channels and I fight the urge to grab the remote. With Paige and Eli in bed, I spring Charise’s request on him.

Andrew drops the remote. “What?!” I nod and reiterate my conversation with Charise.

Andrew swallows and pauses a few minutes. His eyes are far away and he stares blankly at an invisible spot on the wall. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he says, finally. “Ruth and David’s parental rights for Paige haven’t been legally removed and I don’t want anything to jeopardize that. What if they see Paige during a visit with Payton and change their mind?” Andrew pauses and I remain silent. “I mean, if there’re issues and Payton HAS to be removed, we can talk about it more. And we’ll definitely adopt Payton if she doesn’t go back to Ruth.”


I’m glad he made the choice. I want to help but we have enough on our plate with Paige, and Eli starts kindergarten in a few months. Ninety-nine percent of the time I rule with my heart; however, having a practical husband comes in handy when my heart and head play tug-of-war.


The following day I call Charise and give her our decision. She understands and promises to keep us posted.

I hang up the phone and guilt floods my heart. I feel disappointed in myself despite knowing Andrew’s reasoning is sound and we’re making the best choice for our family, “Crappy situation,” I mutter, angry for being pulled in the middle.*

CPS Report: To minimize trauma to the child, the undersigned conceded to returning the  child to the mother in July 2009.**

* What would you have done if faced with this situation?

** Please note that this chapter does not contain all of Charise’s concerns; however, they are addressed in the book.



2 thoughts on “Chapter 16 – Between a Rock and a Hard Place (part 2)

  1. I’ve been in this type of situation. I think it happens often in foster care situations, sadly. I had a teenager living with me because I got attached and couldn’t see having him sent to a boys home simply because I was waiting for a younger child to adopt. I conceded to keep him temporarily and then made a bedroom in my basement for him to stay permanently. He is now adopted.

    So I had a 14 year old boy living with me but I was waiting for a younger child in a legal risk situation for adoption. I got a call to pick up a baby at the hospital. One of his older sisters had stayed with me a few times in respite, so the county chose me to take the baby from the hospital (and I relate a lot to what you wrote about the delays and difficulties with baby Paige – my little guy was very similar, even the detoxing that took months and colic). So, I then had two boys, a tiny infant and a teenager – talk about extremes! Well, the other foster family who had two of the older sisters of the baby decided to put in a 30-day notice on the younger sister. Since I had her brother, the agency called me. The baby was about 6 weeks old when his 3 1/2 year old sister moved in.

    Like you, I think from my heart (which is why I have three kittens from my son’s older sister I am trying to rehome right now….) and I don’t have the balance of someone like Andrew to talk sense into me, so I tend to get into situations that take a lot more out of me than I intended. Before the above scenario, I had taken in two little foster kids for what was supposed to be a brief stay of 6-8 weeks that lasted 9 months. Just like with my son, I said no once but was never settled with my decision and eventually, said yes. The way I look at it is, I need to be able to look in the mirror and be ok with that person I see staring back at me. And, that sometimes gets me in a little over my head but I don’t ever regret it. Our world is so lacking in kindness, I try to do my part to inject some when and where I can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I admire what you are doing and your motivation for it. Yes, I definitely think with my heart more than my head. However, I struggle to act with my heart as I’m a very selfish person. The reader will see as the story moves along and more challenges arise…


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