I’m participating in Erin Bohn’s Adoption Talk linkup this morning. The topic is Talking About Adoption.
The most difficult talk I’ve ever had was with Payton, about her biological parents.
She asked me, “If Ruth and David love me so much, why don’t they visit?”
That is a really good f’ing question!
Insightful for an eight year old, wouldn’t you say?
And a really f’ing hard question to answer!
Ruth and David haven’t visited because we haven’t let them. They were making poor choices – drugs and illegal activities landing them in jail and prison – and we didn’t want that around our family.
Around our kids.
How do you explain that to a child?
I told Payton they weren’t making good choices and they couldn’t visit until they started making better ones.
And that opened up a big can of worms that’s going to take a whole lot of therapy to close thanks to my *wonderful* parenting. (Read about it here.)
Talking about adoption is hard.
It doesn’t matter if you’re an adoptive parent, biological parent or adoptee. t doesn’t matter if you’re explaining it to friends and family, the nosy stranger on the street, or your child.
It. Is. Hard.