Adoption Talk

Dear Adoptee

Dear Adoptee.jpg

Dear Adoptee,

Thank you.

Thank you for flipping the script and sharing your feelings, thoughts and opinions.

It probably wasn’t easy and this adoptive mother appreciates it.

For National Adoption Month I have been silent (for the most part) about my journey as an adoptive mother. Instead, I have read adoptee Tweets and blog posts, and shared them on my social media sites.

I thank you, Adoptee, for speaking up. You are right, the adoptee voice, the one with the least control in the adoption triad, has not been heard.

I have learned a lot this month. For that, I am immensely grateful.

I have learned a lot since starting my adoption journey eight years ago.

  • I started out judging all addicts whose children end up in the system to loving an addict like a sister.
  • I went from hell no on open adoption to an advocate when it’s in the best interest of the child.
  • I thought adoptees had access to their original birth certificates; they don’t. (I advocate for that as well.)
  • I didn’t think infants could have abandonment issues or feel a sense of loss for parents they don’t know. After this month of silence, I know I was incorrect.
  • I didn’t realize adoptees could be angry, hurt, sad, and scared, and still love their adoptive parents. Angela Barra has taught me it typically doesn’t have anything to do with the adoptive parents. It has to do with adoptees working through feelings centered around a situation in which they had no control.

Now, dear adoptee, I will share something with you.

Your voice deserves to be heard and I love you no matter how you feel about adoption. 

Lynn Sollitto
Adoptive Mother



6 thoughts on “Dear Adoptee

  1. Thank you for this post. As adoptive parents, the voice of the adoptees is important. I have learned so much about myself and parenting by listening to the thoughts and experiences of those who are willing to share. It should be mandatory for every adoptive parent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for stopping by Jenni. I agree that it should be mandatory for every adoptive parent. Adoptee point of view can be a hard pill for adoptive parents to swallow but it’s a necessary one.


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