Adoption Talk · parenting · Written Reflections

The Other Family Tree

This was originally posted on my other blog, Written Reflections.


My daughter did an ancestor report over Christmas Break a couple years ago.  She reported on the maternal side of my husband’s family.  She also had to fill out a family tree up to her great grandparents.

One problem (or, more accurately, challenge):  She is adopted.

She knows she is adopted.  She knows she has another mommy and daddy.  She even has a relationship with her biological grandmother.

But where do we put those other family names?  Do we add extra branches to the original tree?  Do we create a whole new tree on a separate piece of paper?  Do we pretend her family tree is complete and simply fill in what was provided, and nothing more?

She didn’t ask about putting her other mommy and daddy on the tree.  I was surprised she didn’t mention anything about her biological grandmother either.  So we didn’t add branches or create a whole new tree.

Instead, we listened to her silence and filled it in with her adoptive family ancestry, which is her family ancestry too.*

* Of course, if she has another family tree project and wants to fill in her biological family, we will hand her the pencil.




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